I could remember like it was just yesterday, it was me, you, my step Dad, My neighbor other uncle. lol Perfect breezy summer day, havin a few beers, playin dominos. haha, you made fun of me bcuz i sucked at dominos. lol i also remember it was over for me, you where gunnin me soo hard when you got the campicu. Your unique laughter rings in my head. You where the funniest guy ive ever known, every get together was a fuckin comedy show when you spoke in front of everyone. my most favorite story youve ever told me was the one where i asked you why you got that tattoo in the palm of your hand.lol you said “idk muthafucka you tell me, vodka knocks a nigga out and you wake up with tattoos in your hand, fuck you want me to say?” It broke my heart seeing you in that coffin today. My biggest regret was never being able to see you in that hospital bed, my dad told me it was too much for me to see, im sorry.
You have always longed for tenderness, love and a sensitivity of feeling into which you would like to blend. You are a very gentle warm person and responsive to ‘All things bright and beautiful’. This personifies a caring person, a person who ‘needs’ and indeed ‘needs to be needed’.
You are experiencing considerable difficulty trying to achieve your goals. As a consequence of this you are becoming more and more irritable. Your friends and acquaintances are finding it increasingly more difficult to appease or to reason with you. You are the cause of your own problems. Don’t be so impulsive. It is your vacillation that can lead to problems and uncertainties. Ease up a little.
The present situation, not of your making, is forcing you to compromise. You will have to hold back and forgo some of your hopes, dreams and aspirations.
You are pretending that the situation around you doesn’t matter, but the effort of trying to conceal your emotions and anxieties is resulting in untold stress. The existing situation is disagreeable. You feel unwanted and lonely and you would really like to associate with someone whose ideals are as high as your own. You want to be above the standard of mediocrity and this need to be needed and that need to need has almost become an obsession. You are trying to magnify the need into a compelling urge. You would really like to tell the world how great you are but no, you are holding back because you feel that your peers may treat you with contempt. This is a great pity because you have in fact a unique quality of character, but the continual restraint that you impose on yourself makes you suppress this need for others and you pretend you don’t really care. You treat those who criticise you with contempt. However, to be honest, beneath this assumption of indifference you really long for the approval and esteem of others.
You would like to be respected and valued for yourself and this can only be achieved from within a close and harmonious relationship.